At a workshop at a financial services firm recently, a senior partner asked me a great question: When you’re at a networking event, which is more important, to tell your 30-second business story, or to listen to someone else’s?
What a tough choice!
Here’s what I told him: The single most important quality of a great storyteller is their ability to listen. When you listen closely to someone else’s story, you learn about them, and you gain an opportunity to tailor your story to their interests and needs. Moreover, you demonstrate that you’re deeply receptive to their message, which is the best foundation for a strong relationship.
This question reminds me of a legend. They say that about 50 years ago in Africa, when electricity first came to the rural villages, a television salesman gave a TV to one of the village chiefs. The salesman plugged it in, and as he left the village, he was happy to see all of the villagers gathered around the television.
When he came back a month later, the TV was nowhere in sight. Instead, the villagers were gathered around the village storyteller. The salesman approached the village chief.
“Excuse me, where’s the TV?”
The chief answered, “We put it away in the storage hut.”
“But why aren’t you watching it?”
“We watched it for a while. We heard its stories. Then we put it away.”
The salesman was confused. “But you don’t understand. If you keep watching it, it will keep telling you stories. The television knows MANY stories. ”
The chief shrugged. “The television does know many stories–yes, even more than our storyteller. But the difference is, our storyteller knows us.”
If you want to learn how to use listening and storytelling skills to build relationships, email ruth@biznarrative.com or call 510-338-0241.
